On old photographs and memories

I recently read my deceased mother's speech which she gave years ago at a woman's club. I know I must have read it before and I know parts about it, but somehow it seemed all new again and brought fresh tears and heartache as I read it. She was a hell of woman, my mom was. She is one of the true rags to riches stories you read or watch all the time in those television specials. It makes me proud to be her daughter and makes me appreciate more what I have today.

I also keep a green plaid box (since green was her favorite color) where I keep hundreds of her photos. No exaggeration. Whenever there was a camera, she was always ready with a pose and a smile.

Due to the number of photos, I now have a dilemma. I am a sentimental person, but I am also a practical one (cognitive dissonance - thanks, Midnight in Paris). I've been holding on to these photos for so long, and I've also scanned them so I have them in digital form, but I still haven't let go of them. Should I even let go of them? But what if one day my hard drives are wiped? What if there was a sudden Revolution-type event when I don't have a handy photo of my loved ones besides the one on my smartphone or any electronic device? But do I have to keep all of these photos? Am I being too paranoid? 

If I was still living in my old house where there are rooms to spare for storage, this wouldn't even be up for discussion. Now that I am living in barely a 50 sqm condo, it presents a problem. But how can a person bear to part with old photographs and the memories that come with them?

I've been researching this topic, hoping to find someone somewhere to tell me what to keep and what to throw away.

The thing I have semi-decided on was making a scrapbook of some sort. I don't want to call it a scrapbook, but more of a book-book. A memorial book? Or maybe that is all the same thing. But whatever. I am making a book. I plan on filling it with my favorite pictures of her, little snippets from her speech, and maybe some of her handwritten notes. Maybe I'll have it professionally printed in one of those glossy photo books that it'll look like a coffee table book that anyone can browse through without going through boxes of her stuff. Then most of the stuff, I'll probably throw away.

Big project. Huge. At least for me. It's going to be tough physically, mentally, and emotionally to do it. But I do feel that it's the best thing to do. I have to move on, but not without respecting who my mother was. I feel that this book will be a perfect tribute to her and her life and to the wonderful woman she was.

Midnight in Paris

There are some movies that are just so damn charming, so damn delightful that you want to tell your friends all about it. Well, my friends (or whoever you are who is reading this), I want to tell you about Midnight in Paris.

Look, now here's the trailer:

Now, as charming as that was, it isn't as charming as the whole film. In fact, I would have to say that it's even a little misleading. There's a lot going on in and for this movie than this little two-minute trailer.

But I guess that's part of the magic that comes with the film. When I watched it, I had no expectations about the film or about Woody Allen like some film critics do. I didn't expect at all to be entertained. But like the protagonist, Gil Pender (played by Owen Wilson), when that clock struck midnight and that old car stops by - I knew I was in for a wonderful ride.

I don't want to spoil what happens next, but just believe me that it's an adventure that I myself would want to go on. One word for it: Magical.

There's so much more that I want to say about this film, but instead of boring you with it all - just go and watch the film already. It's only 94 minutes of your life. Do it.

You're welcome.

Disney X LucasFilm: A New Hope?

There has been a great disturbance in the Force as news came out of a 4-Billion deal between Lucasfilm and Walt Disney has been made. And, Disney - not wanting to waste their spanking new income-generating property - is already talking about making the next three Star Wars films, the first one slated on 2015.

As a Star Wars fan, and being subjected to the underwhelming prequels, this news has been met with a mix of fear and (new?) hope. Fear because, why ruin a good thing? Haven't we suffered enough Jar Jar, bad acting and awkward romances? But there's always the Star Wars fan in me that hopes that maybe, like what Disney did for the Marvel franchise, they'll do it right this time.

But let's admit it: love or hate this news, we're still going to read about it, be updated about it, be excited about it, and ultimately watch it - even just to see how bad it is compared to all our imaginings (and by now we're imagining plenty).

Hot damn. I can hardly wait. I think I'm going to watch the whole series all over again - starting with Episode 4, of course. Then, for Episode 1, I'll just watch this instead:

LEE HI - 1.2.3.4

This is too good not to be shared. Might be one of my favorite YG tracks this year.

INTENSITY: Penshoppe S/S 2013

Well,  here it is. My first fashion show. 

I never planned on going - it just so happened that I got the free passes when I treated my cousin to some back to school outfits. 

Okay, segue first: I happen to like Penshoppe's clothes, impressive celebrity endorsers notwithstanding. Sure, I think they already "won" (at least for me) when they got Ian Somerhalder, but even before that I already have clothes with their tags in my closet which I bought not for the sake of attending fan conferences.

Even so, it was ridiculously easy to create some great outfits for my cousin with what they have in the store. She was my first styling project and I have to say, she looked pretty damned good in the clothes that I picked for her. The colors were bright and young and even the jeans were a perfect fit (she is a size 25, TT__TT). Price was reasonable too. We were happy customers.

Getting the passes were simply a plus.

I'm wearing a Penshoppe reversible top :)

Fast forward a few days later, decked out in our fashion show debut outfits, my other cousin and I sashayed (no, not really) down to the SMX Convention Center for Penshoppe's fashion show for Spring/Summer 2013 called INTENSITY. Its tagline:

“Intellect is a magnitude of INTENSITY, not a magnitude of extensity,” – Arthur Schopenhauer

- Pause here while I Google what this quote means -

Okay, full quote makes more sense for me.

"Intellect is a magnitude of intensity, not a magnitude of extension: which is why in this respect one man can confidently take on ten thousand and a thousand fools do not make one wise man." - Arthur Schopenhauer

I still don't quite get what it means as it pertains to the fashion show or the collection. Does it mean that even though the show doesn't have much fanfare with a binder full of celebrities (get it?), it would be the collection that will speak for itself? 

And why am I even ruminating about this?!

Back to the show.

Well, whatever INTENSITY means, the show definitely presented a collection that I am excited to see on their stores soon.

As always, their jackets and sweaters were the stuff people who spend much time in air-conditioners dream of. Their signature varsity jacket is in attendance for the boys, along with sparkly, silvery sweaters for the girls.

I loved the white outfits with the big blue floral prints - on the dress and the pants. Very summer-y.

And speaking of summer - I love the cuts and colors of their retro-styled bathing suits.

Lots of neon, too. Is it not going away yet?

And, even though I'm a girl, I found myself wishing there was a girl-version for some of the guy's clothes. (Also, nice sneaks!)

All in all, great collection. And not at all bad for my first show, right?

***

Solanin

If there is a manga that is so fitting for me right now, it's Asano Inio's Solanin.

This manga has been on my to-read list ever since I went to the Manga Realities exhibit a year ago. Maybe it's kismet that I read this now at a time when it echoes my own thoughts.

Solanin is a story about a twenty-something Meiko who is feeling aimless about her life, probably encountering the so-called quarter life crisis that plagues most of us during that age. She quits her job and, together with her live-in boyfriend Taneda and their group of college friends, decides to find the answers to what freedom, purpose, and happiness really means.

Here are some of the notable quotes from the manga:

Freedom without any purpose feels a whole lot like boredom.

The lyrics I struggled to create are only made up so I would have something to sing. Nothing genuine can come out of these flat and boring and ambiguous lives we're living, out of faking your worries for the sake of it.

It's because you haven't found that something you simply have to convey to people.

That's why we're using this moment to change the days spent using the rest of our lives to the the days building the rest of our lives.

But at times I remember that I'm making no contribution to society and I feel like the dead, someone who doesn't exist. It's terrifying. It keeps me up at night sometimes.

Bag Lust

I never quite got how or why people buy those uber expensive bags with names I'm not sure I was even pronouncing correctly. It's just something you sling on your shoulders, something that holds all your stuff together.

Maybe it's when you get older and earn money of your own, or maybe it's when you finally realize the quality of products that you get it. You get the whys of the expensive price tag and the serious case of bag lust comes over you.

And recently, my brand of obsession is Chloé.

Chloé bags have been seen on the arms of famous personalities like Katie Holmes, Reese Whiterspoon, and my personal favorite Rachel Bilson among many others.What I love about their bags is that they look very classic and I'll probably use them for years and years to come. I also love that it's not all in your face with the logo and in a way, discreet.

Here are some of my favorites from their 2012 collection.

All images taken from Chloé Facebook page.

A Case in Pink

I love my Samsung Galaxy Note. It doesn't matter that it is a bit too big when I hold it up to my ear when I take a call. I think it's absolutely perfect for my needs.

My only problem with it is the lack of choices for this specific unit's phone cases.

So instead of continuing to gaze longingly at the pretty cases for a certain popular brand of phone, I decided to make a customized one of my own.

And with some washi tapes I bought from Hey Kessy, it definitely wasn't hard to do.

MATERIALS

• Back cover - mine is conveniently white so the pink washi tapes blended in perfectly.
• X-acto knife - be very, very careful when using!
• Small scissors - for cutting the tapes. I mentioned that it's small because just in case you don't have an x-acto knife, you can use this to cut through those tiny holes.
• Washi tapes of various designs

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Cover the phone cases with alternating washi tapes, leaving a bit hanging on both sides. Fold over the excess tapes. I cut it to the edges the first time, but I learned that the tape won't curl or peel off when the edge is tucked inside, just like covering a book with plastic.

2. Using the X-acto knife or small scissors, carefully punch through and cut the holes for the camera, etc. You can also cut one side and leave the other side to be folded inside.

3. Insert phone into case and enjoy! :)

Now my phone is as sweet as Dara!

Daydreaming

Image Source

Springtime and there he was again,
Hands in his pockets, hair wind-blown
His lips curved up in a half-smile
And I let myself daydream for a while

He'd walk up to me and ask for this dance
As a guitar gently strums in the background
And we'd sway, sway, sway
As the whole world falls away

His hand feels safe and strong
As he walks me all the way home
We take our time as he talks about his brothers
Learning about favorite songs and colors

And at the door he stops me
With a hand on my waist, he leans in
Time suddenly slows
My eyes flutter close...

A fragile sound jars me from my reverie
And brings me back once again
Sighing as I look across the room to him
The starring man from my daydream.

 

Bedside Matter

Night

Day

Mirror - AC +632, Greenbelt 3

Scarf - Japan street stall

Anglepoise lamp - SM Homeworld

Various Books - National Bookstore

Vintage suitcase (filled with complete Nora Roberts Language of Love series) - Legaspi Sunday Market

Pig figurine - China (?)

Wireless mouse - CDR King

Fan - gifted

Red necklace - crafted by moi

Antique-style clock - SM Homeworld

Lace placemat - Landmark

Ceramics - inherited from Mom

White wooden picture box - ??? store

A Closet Case

"It's not that I have too many clothes... It's just that I have a small closet."

- Me

I had long despaired of finding a good closet. I didn't think it was too much to ask. I wasn't talking about one of those walk-in ones where it looks more like a boutique than an actual closet. All I wanted was only about 50 inches wide with drawers and, most importantly, a mirror installed in one of the doors. I don't have a full-length mirror on my room so whenever I dress, I have to go out and check myself on the "hallway" mirror. And I'm not one of those people who are always satisfied with their first outfit... sometimes I go on three outfit changes so you can imagine how much time it takes to dress up.

 Uneven doors, disjointed, bottomless drawers, and under the bed storage

Another reason why I wanted a new closet was because the one I had was already falling apart. It was one of those generic ones you see being sold on most furniture stores like SM Homeworld. While it may look ideally perfect for my needs, the workmanship left much to be desired. I had to re-install a metal rod instead of the plastic one it came with because it curved due to the weight of the clothes. Soon, the drawers' bottoms gave out so the the top drawers contents toppled down to the bottom (In a way, you can call it a bottomless drawer hehe). The closet door also went out of alignment that I couldn't open the closet door without opening the drawer. Suffice to say, I am never going to buy one of those closets again.

Easier said than done... because there aren't a lot of places in Manila where you could buy a good quality closet.

My options: 1) Have it custom made; 2) Buy second hand from those antique stores in Evangelista; and 3) Persist in finding the perfect closet.

I was seriously considering having it custom made but I didn't know who to ask. This probably would have been my best option, but I didn't pursue it.

For buying second hand... I saw these two closets which had mirrors in front over at the second hand shops at Evangelista, Bangkal. One of them was just my style - the mirror had flower etchings and there was even a hidden drawer! But, sadly, it was too small for my needs. The other one was a bit large and a little austere for my taste, but I could work on it to make it more "pretty." And they were pretty cheap. Again, I was seriously considering buying the latter (and restoring the former and maybe selling it) but the main drawback was that it was an antique. It wouldn't surprise me if one night a white lady showed herself on the mirror or a child was suddenly hiding inside the closet. *Insert me screaming* No, thank you.

The third option was a trial in patience. I went around different furniture stores and had a tape measure in my bag for several months just in case I find a prospective closet. I ended up going to Waltermart Makati and up to S.B. Furniture to look at what they have in stock. I think this was back last year, later than September, I guess. They had really good quality closets and some of them even had mirrors! But!!! They were too large for my wee condo. If it wasn't too tall, it was too wide. There was no way it could fit in my room and still have room for people to walk on. Fortunately, they had a website and I looked it up. They get their furniture from Thailand and if I wanted a design, I could order it and it will arrive... in two months! Two months seemed a long time to me so I didn't place an order and just hoped that I could still find my dream closet. Fast forward to 2012 and I was still suffering with my old closet - some of my clothes stored under the bed because the drawers were useless. Yeah... I was regretting not ordering from overseas by then.

Hopefully, I thought that maybe their next shipment of furniture - which the friendly people at their store told me would come by February - would have my dream closet. I made a pest of myself calling and calling them to ask if the furniture had arrived yet and did they have a closet with a mirror on it. The answer was always "no, not yet."

Then one day, I went to the store by chance. I asked. Again. And was told, again, that they didn't have it. But! One of the people remembered a closet that was ordered by someone and was going to be shipped to Pampanga. I looked at the picture and there it was - a three-door closet with a mirror! 

Princess Wardrobe

(image taken from S.B. Furniture)

The sales associate told me that someone ordered two of the model and he was going to check if that person will still get two. I was mentally willing the unknown person to take only just one while he phoned the other branch. And then... YES! I got it! Wasting no time, I whipped out my credit card and asked when it could be delivered. And, what do you know - it will be delivered the next day!

 Before and (Happily Ever) After

So... thus ends the case of the sad, sad closet. Now it's a happy closet. Look! It has butterfly handles and stuff! (LOL!)

Thanks to the friendly and helpful people at S.B. Furniture and to the unknown person from Pampanga who ordered two of these and only got one. I hope you really didn't need it, because I really, really did.

***

S.B. FURNITURE

4th Level, Waltermart Makati, Chino Roces Ave. cor Arnaiz St. Makati City

S.B. Furniture (Philippines) Facebook Page

Who Are You?

This is my last art journal entry for 2011... and is currently still the last entry. Yeah, yeah... I'm frustrated about it too. Ever since I started going to the gym I feel like I have no time for anything else (probably because I'm too tired after the workouts LOL). I've been putting off my art and other matters. But things are going to go back to normal soon (I hope) and after I rearrange some things, I can finally divide my focus with the myriad of things I left hanging.

This was the result of going through my box of mementos from my high school and college years. I came across some letters which were given to me during retreats and those papers that were passed around the class where you had to write down something to describe the person whose name appears on top of the paper. Well, in my case it was full of "smart", "quiet", "kind", etc. Though I don't discount that I may have given off that vibe then, I was  a conduct awardee after all, I realized that it was a bit superficial. Was it my classmates' fault for not digging deeper or was it my fault that I didn't open up myself to them more?

Or maybe this was all just a result of not knowing who I was at that time either. How could they know when I didn't even know myself? 

To tell the truth, after all these years I still haven't quite figured it out yet.

But I would like to think that I'm getting there.

Working on my fitness

 "I'll be up on the gym just working on my fitness.."

Fergie (Fergalicious)

One thing I thought I would never do is join a gym. I always thought that it was for people who wanted to lose weight and, being a skinny teenager back then, I didn't need to go to one. Fast forward to ten years later... besides needing to lose unwanted fat, I was so out of shape and unhealthy that I got laughed at by grandpas and grandmas as I panted while climbing a mountain in Japan (true story).

Of course, it didn't help that I have no actual job that requires me to move my ass and I basically sit in front of my computer all day.

So when opportunity presented itself (coughGrouponcough), I decided one of the challenges I had to face this 2012 was to go to the gym.

My goals are pretty simple:

1. Lose the unwanted fat. Call me vain, but I love clothes and fashion. I love those darn pretty sleeveless dresses and those cute shorts. Then one day I realized that I spend so much money buying them when the best investment I could make is for the body underneath it. If you look good and feel good about yourself, even a cheap dress would look good on you. No need for designer stuff. (Although I still want them very very much.) This also goes for your inner spirit - inner beauty and all that. You do get the idea, right?

2. Get healthy and build up stamina. Why? Because I MUST travel this year. I feel so cooped up while my friends were out and about going places the past few years. My cousins who I am putting through college will be graduating this March and I finally have the funds so I am about to go all out! BUT in order to go all out, I have to be able to keep up with all the endless walking and carrying bags. Truth: sometimes vacations can be tiring that we need a vacation after a vacation.

3. If ever we get invaded by aliens or zombies, I can defend myself or run away. Just kidding. Sort of.

I'm on my third week now and thankfully, despite the aches I am feeling, I am still alive. Oh gosh... the stories I could tell about being a total gym noob! But I'm already feeling really well and improved, considering. Hopefully this will become a habit that I can carry on until I am as old as those grandpas and grandmas on that blasted mountain and then it'll be my turn to laugh at those out-of-shape youngsters. Haha...

And when my discounted-but-expensive-when-not gym membership expires, I will be using our condo's gym equipment for free which I FINALLY know how to use. I haven't even used it once in the six years I've been living here (IKR?). And, what do you know? It looks like I've got it all to myself. Ah! The loneliness of self-discipline.

Changes

Well I've gone and done it. 

I deleted my previous blog - "The Typecast Heroine" and merged it into this one - "Quilled Thoughts". 

My reasons? 

For one, I found that I can't maintain two blogs. Yep. One is my limit. I'm not that active to have a lot to write about. I'm doing something about that, though.

Another is that I don't really get my previous blog title. I even forgot why I picked that one. I think I just randomly picked two words and made it work. 

For the record, I'm also not that content with my current blog title, but I think it encompasses everything I can think of to write. The "quilled" part is a bit dated because, obviously, keyboard typing right now. I picked it because the word sounds like "quelled" which means quieted, but change one letter and it becomes public... written for everyone to see - which is the purpose of a blog, anyway.

So, to anyone who have ventured to my new blog, welcome. (And to my previous four followers, I hope that you somehow found your way back here. Sorry for the inconvenience.)

2012 a go go GO!